Jan. 28th, 2010

tasogaretaichou: (Miku Plaid)
So, it's not often I make a 'deep' entry. Not because I can't be deep -- I can -- but because I just normally don't find myself by the computer when such a mood strikes me. Not so today.

I saw something today at work, something that to me... showed what life is supposed to be about. I was upstairs on bathroom break, shoveling a slice of pizza down my throat, and halfway watching the TV when they showed a clip from an earlier episode of Dr. Phil. Now, I hate the show, but this clip caught my attention. It was about a former NBA player. His name I don't remember, it wasn't really important to me. But anyway, this man is a native of Haiti, and he's only recently found out that his father survived the earthquake. So I stood there for a moment, listening to this man talk about his father, about how he couldn't describe the worry he'd felt, how he hadn't seen his dad in 3 years, and how much he couldn't wait to see him and just hug him because he was so grateful that he was alive. And while he was talking, his father came silently out from behind the curtain and walked up to stand behind him. At that point, Dr. Phil asked the man what he would do when he saw his dad again, and he stated that he'd likely just hug him, and he couldn't wait to get that chance. And then Dr. Phil took him by the arm and said "then why wait" and turned him around, and this enormous man broke down into tears at the sight of his father standing there, safe and unharmed.

Now, I'm not always the most emotional person. Life has not always been kind to me. In truth, at times it's been unforgivably cruel. I had my mother ripped from my life at a young age, forcing me to watch as my family unraveled around me. I've stood and watched my father form a new family, while the remnants of the old -- my sister and I -- were relegated to the wayside. I've grown strong, because I had no choice. I've grown hard, because it was the only way. I've learned to hold myself up because there was no one else to depend on. And while I am proud of the person I have become, neither do I deny that becoming that person cost me in ways that I may never truly understand. I am not an emotional person. I do not often feel the same effects from things that other people do.

But this, I did. I stood there in the breakroom with my eyes tearing up, thinking to myself that this.... this is what life is supposed to mean. Not petty squabbles, selfish whims, inflated egos and power-struggles. It's not supposed to be about the things you can get or the things you can do, or the money you can get.

It made me think, and it made me feel so grateful for the people in my life, the people who touch me every day in some way or another. And because of that, to all those people, I wish you this.

I wish that you could greet every day with a smile. That you could cry without shame, rejoice without holding back. May you climb so high you can't see the ground, run without ever looking back. Fly as though you could reach the sky. Sing as though no one's listening, dance as though no one's watching. Dream as though you had no boundaries, and love as though you've never been hurt before.

Live as though every second, every moment, could be the only one you will ever experience, and you will always find your way in life.

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